We feel today has been a day of preparation. Of course we hope we're wrong. But we can't ignore what we are being told and what we are seeing. I know this will be a long post, and I do apologize. This is an outlet for me, and some days I have to just let it all out, and can't just go with an outline. I'm a grieving Daughter whose beloved Mother is barely hanging on to life. I know if she were to pass on, she would be going directly into her Abba Father's arms, and would be better off. I know these things. But I can't help but have some selfish desires, and want her to be with me a while longer.
Last night I felt the Lord directed me to take care of a couple of things. One, I printed off my Healing Scriptures pamphlet. Secondly, the Lord reminded me of a Healing Scripture CD and Song CD my sister created a couple of years ago. I helped her with the CD by created the album cover. My Mom LOVES to listen to my sister sing. I felt impressed to make a way for Mom to hear this CD. (When I talked to Jenni today, she confirmed and said she felt so too yesterday, but didn't know how to make it happen... a confirmation.)
Mom had a CT scan early this morning. They always do them 4:30-5:00am time frame, so the doctors will have them to read when they do their morning rounds.
On a personal note...for about a month, we've been planning on getting rid of one of our phone lines, and upgrading one of our other phones. Today was the day. So around 8:45 I called my parents house, hoping to catch my sister to tell her to call the home number and that we were discontinuing my number. To my surprise, the answering machine picked up, and I heard my Mom's voice on the message. That took me by surprise (yes, I knew it was there, but I wasn't "prepared" to hear her voice!) I cried and cried. That was very difficult.Tim ended up calling Jenni on her cell about 15 minutes later, and they (her and Dad) were just getting on the elevator at the hospital.
Tim's back is still terribly hurting him. He is in pain while standing. He can get some relief while sitting, but of course laying down is the best position. So I was off to do some errands, such as the bank and post office. I also went to the local cellular store to do all the switching around, changes, and upgrading a phone. They didn't have the phone I wanted, of course they tried to sell me on another one, but it wasn't "THE" one. They did the switching I wanted, and the changes but that was all they could do. An unexpected trip to the nearby bigger city came about. I stopped by home to check on Tim. Then off to get my phone.
On my way to the city, I got a phone call from my sister. It wasn't even 11:30, and they were already home. They couldn't have been there 2 hours. She said that Mom had taken a turn for the worse today. She now has pneumonia. Besides recovering from the stroke the doctors main concerns are: heart; lungs; kidneys. Lungs are now effected with pneumonia. They also said the kidneys are now too, and aren't producing as well as they were or should.
The CT scan from early this morning showed her brain was still swollen. No improvement. The floor doctor said they were putting her on some anti-biotics to combat the pneumonia, but she doesn't have any reserve to fight it. He said "well know more in 48 hours."
My Dad flat out asked the doctor if there was any hope. The doctor was honest and said they never say never, but that it doesn't look good. He said what would be best is if they let Mom rest as much as possible. Jenni mentioned something about my Dad, and he said it would be best for him too if he would go home, and rest. So they did.
At that time I was at the store, and we ended the conversation. I got my phone, and was able to get speakers, and as I am typing this I'm working at syncing Jenni's music and "The Bible Experience" to the phone so I can play it for Mom. When I was done I called Tim. He suggested I go to Penney's and get something I was needing. As I entered the store I felt I was to look for a black dress. (I don't have one.) I dismissed it, and of course I'd rather stick my head in the sand. I thought, okay Lord, I'll look, but I doubt they have one, and one that fits. I saw one, and tried it on. Too big. I thought okay, they may have one smaller, but only if it's on sale will I get it. (Why do I bargain or play games with God?!?) I was putting it back and I heard a sales associate ask another "are these black dresses on sale, too?" I heard yes, and looked up and saw the half off sales price. Yes, I walked out of that store with a black dress. Before leaving town I swung by Jimmy Johns and got me and Tim a sandwich. I ate along the way.
I got back home five minutes before the children needed picked up from school. I came in, gave Tim his sandwich, went to the bathroom, and back out I went. Waiting in line to pick up Boom was the first chance I had to play/look at my new phone. I picked him up, and off to get Daughter. Boom wanted to call his Daddy on the new phone. Less than a minute after hanging up, my sister called again.
She was telling me about strange events yesterday. I don't want to go into everything, but for my purpose of journaling, I will mention the picture, birds, and raindrops. Hopefully that will be enough for me to remember. ;-)
Jenni said she finally got Dad to settle down, and was going to let him sleep, and she was going to go to the hospital. I have not heard from her since this afternoon.
My Mom has a half sister living still. She called on Mom's birthday, and Dad broke down. (They were never close. She's 11 years older than Mom.) I saw her once in my life, that I remember. I called her back today, and told her what was going on. She was able to tell me more about Grandma (her and Mom's Mom) more, and her strokes. Strikingly similar, down to the age.
I continue to prep things around here for a return trip. I have been multi-tasking all day. Eating while driving. Talking on the phone while driving. Syncing my phone, washing, getting Tim heating pad and ice pack, typing this. With Tim down and out, I'm doing all the running around we both do. It's exhausting!! Plans are still for Friday or Saturday, unless an emergency arises. I do what the Lord guides and directs me to do. It's all I can do. Tomorrow I have to get groceries. Tim can't do it. We will know more tomorrow. We always do.
My biggest concern (outside of health issues: Tim's back, Mom, Dad) is how to get home. Yes we have a car, but I'm not keen on driving the 6.5 hr trip by myself. Tim with his back, it just can't happen. Please pray for God's wisdom!
Thanks for all the prayers, comments and emails! We appreciate each and every one!
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